So, instead of working on my thesis, I'm distracting myself with such important tasks as researching Barack's policies on the Middle East (approve of Iraq/Iran policies, not so much with the Isreal), and writing a rambling entry to a much ignored blog. Plans for a Happy Easter call to my parents have been foiled by some sound disease that has possessed my roommate's computer. I was hoping the Easter Bunny would bring me a new laptop today, but I didn't even get any damn chocolate. He's probably mad I didn't go to Mass. Or dye any eggs. And I may have even cursed Jesus for dying and thus shutting down an entire continent on Friday. Later, continuing my habit of productive procrastination, I'll go running and possibly make a grocery run, procrastinating just long enough that I will begin mapping out thesis plans directly at a time where I won't be able to turn off my thoughts and thus, will ruin any chance of a good night's sleep.
I've recently been feeling the need to be back in the States. Not necessarily long term, but for un rato. Just because it's where I get things. Plus I really want a salad from Panera.
This week has been hard. I had forgotten, somehow, that eventually I would return to a place where I have to make big life decisions. There is nothing I hate worse than trying to decide what I'm going to do with my life. When I'm feeling really lazy, I occasionally think I should just leave these decisions up to other people. Ah. Less stress. Wait no. I have to decide who to let decide what I should decide. Possibly more stress. The thing is, there are always atleast 2 opposing things I want at once. I want to stay in the same place for more than a year and stop trying to build relationships with people who will be out of my life in 2 months. But then, if I could travel the world and meet a 100 million different humans, why wouldn't I live the more adventurous life? Or maybe I just need to start spending more time in the places I move to...say 2 years instead of 6 months. I love galivanting around with no particular direction, but eventually I start wondering where I'm wandering. Right now I feel like my life is a lot like trying to do crazy moves on a exercise ball. I know that clearly these things can be done, given Kim's demonstration a few feet away, but I just keep falling of that freekin squishy globe and seem to have no sense of balance whatsoever.
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